Let's make a deal AU
by Magicwolf360
Summary: Trust no one... trust no one... trust no one... but Pinetree! All I need is a puppet...


"Mabel! Listen to your head, this thing could destroy our _universe_!

"Mabel, please! Look into my eyes. Do you really think I'm a bad guy?"

"He's lying! Shut it down, now!"

Mabel glanced between Grunkle Stan and Dipper. Her hand was poised over the button, ready to push it. Dipper sighed in relief. This was his sister, the person he grew up with. She wouldn't turn her back on him now. His eyes widened when her body went slack and she released the cable.

"Grunkle Stan, I trust you."

"Mabel, are you crazy?! We're all gonna di-"

The entire world was washed in light. Dipper didn't know how long he was floating, but his mind was racing the entire time. How could she do that to him? After everything they'd been through, she chose to trust _him_? The journal's words rang through his head. _Trust no one_. He opened a sleepy eye to see Mabel floating across from him. His stomach knotted. He thought he could trust her... she'd always have his back. He closed his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat.

 _I guess that journal was right. There's no one I can trust._

Everything seemed to drop down. Dipper landed with a thump and groaned, rubbing his temple. He looked up to see a figure standing in the machine. For a second, he was so surprised that he just sat there gaping. A part of him wanted to run up and inspect the newcomer, but Mabel was already approaching the person. She turned and looked at him with a small smile.

"See? Everything turned out okay."

"We got lucky," Dipper replied bitterly.

Mabel flinched. She opened her mouth to say something, but Dipper was already walking away. He was done, he didn't need this.

"Just stay away from me, Mabel."

She took a step to go after him, but Stan put a hand on her shoulder.

"Let him go. Just give him some time to cool off- you know how Dipper gets."

Mabel gave a nod and turned her attention to the figure.

* * *

Dipper sneaked out around the back, somehow managing to avoid the secret agents. When he was on the other side of the fence, he started running. The trees blurred past as he ran. When the tears came, he didn't try to stop them. He made a sharp right and stopped. He was at the place where he'd found the journal. The compartment was still open. He crawled inside and curled up into a ball. Just as another tear slid down his cheek, a laughing sound broke the silence.

"Pine tree, what a lovely surprise."

Dipper groaned and turned so that he was facing the dirt wall. He could feel Bill behind him, staring down.

"Seems like you've gotten yourself in a jam, there."

"Ugh! Go away, man! I'm not making anymore deals with you."

Bill threw up his hands, and chuckled.

"Easy, kid. The deal's not that bad."

"Yeah? Well, I don't even want to hear about it!"

Dipper grabbed the edge of the compartment and started pulling himself up. Bill rolled his eyes and flicked his wrist. Dipper yelped as he tumbled back into the hole.

"All you need to do is hear me out."

The boy bit his lip. Then again... what was the harm in listening? It was something his sister never did. When Bill saw that he had the kid's attention, he clapped happily. Dipper narrowed his eyes, but didn't move.

"Great! So here's the deal. You become my puppet again, and I'll protect you, Mabel, and Stan from the person in the portal."

Dipper tilted his head.

"That person's evil?"

"Yeah, he's evil. Even more diabolical than me!He has this little thing called a spacial rift. In his hands, he can destroy the mindscape! I'll die if I don't get my hands on that rift. So what do you say, Puppet? Ready for an encore?"

Dipper hesitated.

"It's a matter of survival," Bill stated.

Bill's hands erupted in blue flames. Dipper reached out and shook it. His eyes widened when he felt the familiar pull of his soul going into the mindscape. His body opened its eyes and Bill laughed.

"This is amazing! Thanks, Pine tree. Or should I call you Puppet now? I can never decide."

"How about you just get the rift and out of my body?" Dipper suggested.

Bipper shrugged and made his way clumsily back to the mystery shack. The secret service agents were gone. Mabel was sitting outside on the porch steps, staring at the ground. Bipper looked at Dipper and smirked.

"Oh by the way, I made some modifications since the last time I borrowed your body. You can no longer hear what they say."

Dipper's eyes widened. On the porch steps, Mabel looked up. Her face broke into a large smile. She ran up to Bipper and threw him into a bear hug. Dipper huffed, eyes hardening. If she thought a hug could ever change the betrayal... She mouthed something at Bipper. He laughed and motioned towards the shack.

"So any interesting things Uncle Ford brought back?"

* * *

That night, Dipper was leaning against the wall in his room. Mabel had fallen fast asleep, and Bipper was waiting for the right moment to get up.

"How does this work exactly?" Dipper asked.

"Oh, you'll see."

Slowly, Bipper crept out of the room. Tiptoeing down the stairs, he stopped where Uncle Ford was sleeping. As quietly as possible, he began rummaging through the suitcase. Dipper kept an eye on Ford. Suddenly, Ford's eyes shot open. Even though Dipper couldn't hear him, his expression said enough.

" _Boy, what are you doing? Away from that!"_

Bipper paused, and Dipper thought he could see a sneer. He snapped his fingers and Dipper could hear the whole house again. He looked at Ford in confusion. Who _was_ that guy? And why was he sleeping on their couch?

"Old Sixer, it's good to see you too," Bipper muttered.

Ford went pale.

"Bill?"

"What else did you expect? This body is the perfect puppet!"

Ford's teeth gritted. He leaped up, frantically patting his overcoat.

"Get out of my great nephew's body."

Dipper froze. Great nephew? Bipper threw back his head and cackled.

"Sorry, Sixer. No can do. Me and Pine tree made a deal fair and square. He's mine, until the end of eternity."

He said this last part looking straight at Dipper. Bipper leaned against a wall, a grin covering his face.

"Besides, with my Weirdmageddon, Pine tree will have a choice. Either side with me, or say good-bye to his precious vessel."

Dipper stuttered. Before he could say anything else, Bipper swung a small rift in his hands. Ford stared at the rift and winced.

"Bill... stop this."

"And why would I want to do that?"

Bipper smashed the rift against the ground. Ford yelped and ran for it, but Bipper just snapped his fingers. The old man eyes fluttered as he collapsed into a deep sleep. Now Stan and Mabel came running. Bipper simply did the same trick until all the Pines were down. Dipper hovered over Mabel. Next to him, Bipper cackled.

"Don't worry, Pine tree. You can always just be my servant and I won't kill this vessel right now. Do we have a deal?"

Dipper stared at the hand. For once, Bill had actually cornered him. He'd always had a choice. But with his whole family down and his body's fate with Bill, he didn't see much of a choice. He shook Bill's hand numbly.

"At last! At long, long last! The day prophesied one trillion years has come to pass. This party never stops. Time is dead and meaning has no meaning. Existence is upside-down and I reign supreme. WELCOME ONE AND ALL... TO WEIRDMAGEDDON!"


End file.
